Conflict Styles and the Influence on Mediation
The Basics
Your conflict style represents your inclination, or natural tendency, when faced with a situation of conflict. Knowing the five main conflict styles can help you understand the choices you have for managing conflict. And knowing your own conflict style can help you identify how you might want to approach conflict differently. By being aware of your own conflict style and being able to identify the style of the person with whom you are in conflict, you can better pursue a mutually agreeable outcome for all parties involved.
Which Conflict Style do you tend toward?
The United States Institute for Peace has a great tool that draws from the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument. You can find it here. https://www.usip.org/public-education/students/conflict-styles-assessment Note: This quiz is based on the TKI instrument, published by CPP, Inc.—further information and TKI materials can be found on www.cpp.com.
The Five Styles
Competer:
Competers are known for being persuasive and direct. They know the result they want in a conflict situation, and they go for it. Their strengths are that they are often passionate about their views and dedicated to pursuing their convictions.
Competers are good at making quick decisions, and tend not to waste time, which is especially helpful in the time of crisis.
Weakness: Sometimes Competers wind up with unequal relationships with others, and feelings of others can be hurt or overlooked with their decision-making style.
Problem Solver:
Problem Solvers tend to want to discuss all the details of a problem and work through it together so that everyone gets what he or she wants and is happy in the end.
Their strengths are that they tend to welcome differences, build high-levels of trust and mutual understanding in relationships. There is also the potential to learn from creative problem solving.
Weaknesses: When time is a factor, it is difficult to spend the energy and time needed to process the way. Problem Solvers tend do. There is also the potential for burnout from over-processing.
Compromiser:
Compromisers approach conflict with the goal of compromise. They tend to think about what they are willing to give up and what they are willing to hold on to, and try to gear communication to focus on this give and take for all parties.
It is a good way to promote cooperation. It can be done fairly quickly when both parties are engaged.
Weaknesses: Sometimes neither party really winds up with what he/she wants. It can also be viewed as a Band- Aid approach that doesn’t really get to the root of a conflict.
Avoider:
Avoiders tend to step away from conflict. They often keep their opinions to themselves in conflict situations so as not to continue or escalate the conflict.
They are often admired for having a calming, quiet presence in the face of crisis.
Weaknesses: Avoiders sometimes keep their feelings bottled up and then aren’t able to meet their own needs. This can result in a frustrating buildup of emotions.
Accommodator:
Accommodators have a harmonizing approach to conflict. They often focus on supporting others in a conflict situation and are adept at placating people in uncomfortable situations.
Accommodators often gain strong appreciation from others involved in a conflict.
Weaknesses: Accommodators may build up resentment from denying their own needs. It also may be difficult for those who want to get to the root of the problem to work with Accommodators who tend to focus on making others happy.